Compliments are a superb way to bring cheer to someone’s day or commend a good job. Today, give an extra compliment (or two!) in honor of National Compliment Day, observed each year on January 24th.
Debby Hoffman and Kathy Chamberlin created National Compliment Day in 1998. They wanted a special day to honor the simple act of letting those in our lives know that we love and appreciate them. With this in mind, we thought we’d share a few ways to share praise, grace, and love with your teenagers.
10 Ways to Compliment Teens
Compliment character. Sometimes it appears sincerity and morality are characteristics not often taught in our world. And not always commended when showcased. When your teenager displays integrity, consideration, trustworthiness, and reliability, offer them a sincere compliment.
Compliment their friends. When you feel as though your teen has made a connection with someone you deem laudable or a great influence, let them know.
“Your friends are so wonderful!”
“Jennifer is so thoughtful.”
“It makes me so happy to know that you choose your friends well.”
Compliment respect. It is easy to make disapproval second nature, to only notice your teen’s behavior when they go wrong. However, we would encourage you to stop waiting for disrespectful behavior and try acknowledging respectful behavior.
“I don’t tell you this enough, but you are a wonderful person, and I value the way you respect your father and me.”
Compliment a step in the right direction. Holding out for the end goal before we offer up a compliment isn’t good enough, might cause your teenager to lose sight of a positive outcome, and doesn’t reward growth.
“Stephanie, the steps you’ve made toward your goal are great. Thank you for all your hard work!”
Appreciate their place in your family. Sometimes teens, with all their fluctuating emotions, need to know how much they are valued for simply existing.
“Whenever I see you, I’m grateful that I get to be your parent.”
Compliment their style. You can offer a compliment about your teenager’s style even if their taste is vastly different from your own. Your child is his or her own person and you wouldn’t want them to be a carbon copy of their mom or dad. Try not to limit your compliments to the restricted scope of your own taste.
“You sure have a gift for styling hair!”
“I can tell that you put a lot of creativity into your outfit.”
“I love how imaginative your room decor looks.”
Compliment household chores. Your teenager needs to understand that when they chip in with household chores they make a difference and their parents notice the extra effort.
“Vacuuming the living room/mowing the lawn/doing the dishes really makes a difference. I am so grateful for your hard work around our house!”
Compliment new achievements. A well-timed compliment can keep a teen’s trajectory moving forward. It’s important to compliment your child’s progress, as discussed above, but don’t forget to pay them some credit when they achieve something they’ve never been able to do before.
“Great job! Although I’m not surprised after all your hard work. I knew you could do it, Derrick!”
“You got your social studies grade up to an A! I’m beyond proud of you.”
Compliment effort. What about when your teenager’s best efforts come up short? Compliment their effort and remind them there’s still work to be done–and you know they’re up to the task.
“All the studying you’ve done for your social studies class makes me so happy! If you keep it up I know you can bring your grade up.”
Compliment a job well done. When your teen exceeds expectations and goes out of their way to do a great job it is always worth noting. Compliment the quality of your child’s work so they know the extra effort didn’t go unnoticed.
“This is the cleanest I’ve ever seen your room, Shelby!”
“I was so proud of you at your dance recital. Awesome job! I’m so glad you are so passionate about dance, it really shows.”
Are you having trouble balancing criticism and compliments when communicating with your teenager? If so, meeting with the expert staff at Doorways may be a positive step for you and your family. If you have questions, feel free to contact us HERE or give us a call at 602-997-2880.