Posts Tagged ‘depression’
Monday, January 28th, 2013
 Do you know how to tell if your teen is lonely or depressed? (Photo credit: Qfamily) In our previous Lonely or Alone? post, we introduced the idea that when our teens seek solitude and spend time alone, it is not always something parents should be concerned about. There are both healthy and unhealthy reasons that teens separate themselves from their family. It is common for teens that are shy or introverted to seek more alone time then their more outgoing and extroverted peers and siblings. Teens also need time on their own just like adults do. Spending time with other people takes energy and everyone needs downtime to process their own thoughts and let down their emotional guards.
Unfortunately, there are as many unhealthy reasons for teens to separate themselves from others as there are healthy reasons. For parents, the key is to understand how these are different and when spending time alone can be a warning sign that something else is going on or that their teen is not okay. To help you understand if your teenager is lonely or just spending time alone, here are the most common unhealthy reasons teens shut other people out.
Outcast and Outsider
Unfortunately, the teen years revolve around social interaction with peers and popularity matters more during these years than at any other time in life. If your teen is feeling like an outsider, is treated like an outcast, is being bullied, or can’t find a place to fit in, they may be spending so much time alone because of these factors.
These feelings can easily spiral out of control because popularity during the teen years often comes down to who you hang out with. If you have seen any of those teen movies where the bookish girl becomes popular simply because the popular boy starts paying attention to her, you understand how this works. The problem is, it also works in the opposite direction. The more unpopular a teen becomes, the less people will be willing to be seen with them, hang out with them, or be willing to be their friend.
If your teen is lonely because they are a social outcast, you need to help them understand that there is nothing wrong with them and that there are places where they will fit in. You just need to work together to find the people who get them.
Withdrawing From Their Life
Another unhealthy reason teens seek solitary time is when they are extremely unhappy after being betrayed, violated, rejected, or disappointed. Circumstances may leave your teen feelings anxious, discouraged, guilty, shameful, or like they are a failure. These extreme feelings can be so overwhelming and intense that the teen withdraws, allowing depression to control their emotional state and seeing their world as a hopeless place. This creates an environment that has no room for other people and no energy for the kind of social interaction that could combat the negativity.
If your teen is withdrawn and seems to look at life through sad, hopeless glasses, it is time to seek professional help from a mental health professional. If you have any questions about behavior you see exhibited in your teen, give one of our certified counselors at Doorways a call today. We would love to help!
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Tags: Adolescence, Arizona, depression, Doorways, Generations and Age Groups, Health, People, Phoenix, Support Groups, teenager, Youth
Posted in Communication, Depression | No Comments »
Monday, January 21st, 2013
 Do you know the warning signs to look for if your teen is lonely or depressed? (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Parents face many challenges as they guide and usher their teenagers through the final years of adolescence on their way to becoming young adults. One of the most common is knowing when their teen’s behavior is normal and a sign of healthy adaptation and when it is abnormal and requires attention. It is normal for teenagers to spend time away from their families, often secluded in their rooms. For many parents this change in behavior can feel like their child is pulling away, like there is some problem or tension within the family. This can lead to concern about whether or not this alone time is healthy or if it is a sign that their child needs help.
Like most parenting challenges, there is no easy answer or fail-safe guideline that can be used to know the difference. In part, it depends on your child. Some people are more introverted than others, which means that some teens will seek more solitary time than their peers. Other teens may find the demands of socializing and school draining and seek alone time as a way to re-energize and rejuvenate themselves. A teenagers desire to spend time alone is not a cause for concern. In fact, this kind of separation is an important part of their development. But in order to provide for and protect their children, parents need to be able to tell between solitude that signifies healthy development and solitude that signifies danger ahead.
To help understand if your teenager is lonely or just spending time alone, here are the most common healthy reasons teens seek solitude.
Shyness
Even teenagers who were outgoing as children can experience periods of shyness as teenagers. The teen years bring changes to almost every aspect of life and it is perfectly normal for teens to become fearful of things like saying the wrong thing, looking silly or strange, being rejected by others, or not fitting in with their peers. These types of fears can result in periods of shyness when your teen withdraws and seeks the comfort and safety of solitude. While feeling and acting shy is not cause for parental concern, parents can help their teen through these phases by offering encouragement and support.
Spending Time Alone
Sometimes, we all just need to spend some time by ourselves. Being with other people requires a lot of energy no matter what age you are because you have to consider the other people’s needs, opinions, and feelings while moderating what you say and how you act. This can be draining even if you aren’t a teenager trying to navigate a constantly shifting and completely unforgiving social network while also building the skills to do so. Sometimes, your teenager just needs to not have to worry about anyone else for awhile so they can recharge their own batteries. This is healthy behavior and no cause for concern.
Being an Introvert
As mentioned above, some people, including teenagers, are simply more introverted than others. Introverted teens thrive when they get to spend enough time on their own. They benefit from honoring this side of themselves and the best thing parents can do is be understanding and supportive of their need for this solitary space. However, even introverted teens need social interaction. Creating relationships, connecting with others, and establishing solid communication skills are as essential for introverts as they are for extroverts and teens that isolate themselves in order to avoid these situations may need encouragement in these areas.
Regardless of what may be leading your teen or adolescent to spend time alone, be aware of any signs of depression that may be causing this behavior. Be on the lookout for any of the following signs of depression. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to give one of our counselors at Doorways a call.
- Fatigue
- Mood changes
- Loss of enjoyment in activities, socializing, and pastimes
- Lack of energy
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Problems with concentration
- Changes in eating habits that includes craving high sugar foods
Tags: Adolescence, adolescent, Arizona, Behavior, Child, depression, Doorways, Doorways Arizona, Extraversion and introversion, Health, Parent, Phoenix, Shyness, teen, teenager, Wikipedia
Posted in Communication, Depression, Teens | No Comments »
Thursday, December 1st, 2011
 Do the change in seasons affect your teen? It isn’t uncommon for people of all ages to get a little down as fall changes to winter, the days get shorter, and the temperatures drop. In most places around the country, the long, fun, sunny days of summer are gone and the bleak, cold days of winter loom ahead for months. But for some people, the transition from season to season can cause a type of depression that is much more serious than being bummed out that summer is over. This condition is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It is a type of depression and it affects more people, of all ages, than you might think. Current estimates indicate that about 6% of people, including adults, teens, and children, have Seasonal Affective Disorder.
For parents of teenagers, it can be enough of a challenge to figure out what is natural teenage moodiness and what is a mental health concern. When the source of the moody behavior is Seasonal Affective Disorder, it can be even more challenging because the condition is rare in children and teens. The average age for onset of the illness is 20 and more females than males are affected.
The main thing that differentiates Seasonal Affective Disorder from depression is the seasonal pattern. A teenager with this condition will only experience symptoms for the same few months every year. The most common form of the disorder is winter depression which affects people as the seasons shift from fall to winter. There is also a form of the disorder called summer depression that begins in the late spring and runs through the summer.
What Causes Seasonal Affective Disorder?
The cause of SAD is unclear but lack of access to sunlight is suspected to play a part in the disorder. When the amount of sunlight decreases or increases, it may affect the way our body and brain produces chemicals. People with SAD may be more sensitive to these chemical and hormonal shifts. These theories are supported by research that shows a person inNew Hampshireis seven times more likely to have SAD than a person inFlorida. Anecdotal evidence that people with SAD who spend the winter months in a place with more access to sunlight do not experience symptoms.
Who is at Risk for Developing SAD?
While anyone can get this disorder, there are some factors that increase the risk of developing it including:
- Family history – If you have a close relative with SAD you may be more likely to develop it.
- Gender – More women have been diagnosed with the disorder than men.
- Location – People who live far from the equator, either north or south, are more likely to have SAD.
- Mental Health – Those people with depression or bipolar disorder may find that their symptoms are worse depending on the season.
What are the Signs and Symptoms?
The signs and symptoms of SAD are the same as those for depression but are only experienced during a specific season. These symptoms include:
- Fatigue
- Mood changes
- Loss of enjoyment in activities, socializing, and pastimes
- Lack of energy
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Problems with concentration
- Changes in eating habits that includes craving high sugar foods
How is it Treated?
There are several ways to treat SAD in teenagers. The first type of treatment involves increasing the person’s exposure to full spectrum lights during the months when they experience symptoms. These types of light bulbs mimic daylight and can relieve symptoms. If simple exposure to more light isn’t sufficient to alleviate symptoms, light therapy may be used. This approach uses special lights as well but concentrates the light in a light box or light panel. The person with SAD sits in front of the lights for a specific amount of time each day until the seasons change again. Psychotherapy and medication may also be used to treat teens with SAD.
Tags: Bipolar disorder, depression, Health, Major depressive disorder, Mental health, Mood swing, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Symptom
Posted in Seasonal Affective Disorder, Teens | No Comments »
Wednesday, July 27th, 2011
 Image via CrunchBase
Since computers starting coming into the home and video games left the arcade, parents have expressed concerns about how much is too much and how these virtual interfaces will impact the lives of our children over the long term. For years, the main concerns around overuse of electronic media have centered on physical activity levels, studying, and the effect of violent, sexist, and racist themes on young minds. Recently I was asked my thoughts on the impact things like Facebook, Twitter, and video games are having on today’s youth. My answers might surprise you.
One of the main problems that I see is an increase in teens and young adults with significant social anxiety problems that seem to stem from spending too much time interacting with a computer and not enough time interacting with actual people. I call this “Social Phobia.” This is especially pertinent for teens that are in the 12 to 15 year old range that are actively developing and refining the social skills that will help them throughout their lives. The more time a child spends in isolation posting on Facebook, playing Xbox, chatting online, texting, and watching YouTube videos, the less time they spend interacting with their peers and families. These real-world interactions are necessary for developing social skills, understanding social protocols, and building interpersonal relationships.
What Parents Should Look For
- Parents should trust their instincts and if they are concerned there might be a problem, seek the opinion of a professional.
- Parents also need to make the distinction between what is normal behavior and what is healthy behavior. Your son might spend 12 hours a day playing video games which seems normal when compared to his friends, but most health professionals would agree that even if it is normal, 12 hours of video game play in a day is definitely not healthy.
- Watch for resistance to social situations and avoidance of social interactions. If your child is having a significant emotional response to a situation that requires social interaction, there may be a social problem that needs to be addressed.
What Parents Can Do
- The most important step parents can take is to start young. Set expectations and ground rules about media use early in childhood which will help your child develop good habits as they grow into teenagers.
- Provide multiple social outlet opportunities for your children through church, community, sports, and educational activities. But, beware of over-scheduling, children need downtime too.
- Don’t accommodate their anxiety; it’s ok for them to be uncomfortable in social situations because they are learning how to manage those types of interactions. Giving in and allowing them to avoid socializing only reinforces the avoidance behaviors.
Tags: Adolescence, anxiety, dating, depression, Facebook, Interpersonal relationship, parents, Social anxiety disorder, Social media, social phobia, teen relationships, twitter, Video game, YouTube
Posted in Social Media, Stress, Teens | No Comments »
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