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Archive for July, 2012
Thursday, July 26th, 2012
 How can you tell when your introverted teen’s dislike of meeting new people is more than simply being shy? Everyone experiences moments when they are shy or self-conscious about meeting new people or participating in big groups. Many children and teenagers have bouts of anxiety about being in front of others, joining new groups, or being around people they don’t know. This kind of shyness is completely normal. But a racing heart and stomach full of butterflies can signify something more than just normal shyness. Some adolescents are dealing with a type of anxiety about social situations that goes beyond being uncomfortable; they are dealing with a disorder called social phobia.
The biggest difference between normal shyness and social phobia is the degree to which it impacts the person’s life. People who are shy or uncomfortable in public can bring themselves to attend events, make presentations, and interact with others, even though it is difficult. Those with social phobia generally cannot. The anxiety they experience is so extreme, it can be unbearable. People with social phobia may find it impossible to make eye contact, give oral presentations in class, tryout for sports teams, or even join non-competitive extracurricular clubs.
Social phobia, which is also called social anxiety, is an anxiety disorder that causes extreme self-consciousness and self-isolating behavior. People with this disorder can be paralyzed by their fear and anxiety and may find it impossible to participate in many everyday activities. Similarly to other phobias, the fears involved in social phobia are not associated with anything that is actually dangerous but the person’s mind and body react as if it is. Physical symptoms are the same as they would be if the person was confronted by real danger that triggered their fight or flight response. This is an important aspect of this disorder that parents must understand.
Signs of Social Phobia
One of the hardest things for parents is to know when their child is simply shy and when they are experiencing social phobia. Teens experiencing social phobia may feel their heart race, start breathing faster, and break out in a cold sweat when confronted with a social situation. These are all the effects of an adrenaline rush caused by their social anxiety. Teens with social phobia will withdraw and go to great lengths to avoid situations that incite this fear.
Effects of Social Phobia
This type of anxiety can be difficult at any life stage, but for teenagers, it can be devastating as so much of a teenager’s life is about social development and social skills. Teenagers with social phobia may:
- Be lonely because of their self-isolation and inability to meet new people.
- Be frustrated because they want to make friends and participate in school activities and social events but their fear keeps them from being able to do so.
- Be losing out on getting the best education they can because they cannot volunteer, present in class, speak up when they know the answer, or ask for help when they don’t.
- Be missing opportunities to use or expand their talents.
- Be missing opportunities to learn new skills, develop new interests, and participate in their own life.
What Parents Can Do
The good news is that the effects of social phobia can be mitigated and teenagers dealing with this anxiety disorder can learn to overcome their fears. With the support of friends and family and the assistance of a therapist or other mental health practitioner, teens can learn coping skills, success strategies, and tools for managing their anxiety. This support can enable them to live full, rich lives and ensure they don’t miss out all the great things about being a teenager.
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Tags: anxiety, Anxiety disorder, Mental health, Phobia, Shyness, Social anxiety, Social anxiety disorder, Social skills
Posted in Anxiety Disorders | No Comments »
Wednesday, July 11th, 2012
 One of the most important things parents can do is validate their tween’s emotions. (Photo credit: Wikipedia) Teenagers are moody. The ups and downs of teen hormones are so commonplace and expected that parents are more likely to be concerned if their teenager doesn’t experience the massive mood swings associated with transitioning from child to adult. For some parents, however, this behavior comes a little early and is entirely unexpected. Parents who prepared themselves to deal with the rebellious/belligerent/infatuated/best-day-of-my-life moments typical to teenagers often find themselves ill-equipped to handle the ball of emotions inhabiting their tween’s body. Children in this age-group can seem just like the child they know and love one minute and a sullen stranger or angry alien the next.
What Makes Them Moody?
Tweens are moody for the same reason teenagers are moody; they are changing into a new person which brings a host of factors into play. They are in the midst of building a whole new identity, trying to figure out who they are, what they like, and where they fit in. They are establishing and stabilizing friendships, forming cliques, and creating new communities all the while the elementary school days when everyone was friends with everyone fades further into their past. Peer pressure begins to play a real role in their lives and the need to fit in becomes one of the most important things in their lives. Their bodies are starting to change which means hormones are wreaking havoc and often leaving them as bewildered as their parents at their ever shifting behavior.
In short, they have a lot going on!
Now, if there are any additional factors like dysfunction in the family, divorce, or instability at home, these extreme moods can feel like a rollercoaster ride that is all terror and no fun.
What Can Parents Do?
One of the most important things parents can do to help their tweens through this stage is to validate their emotions, take time to talk to them often about what is happening in their lives and what they are going through, and discussing how they are feeling. As tweens struggle in this limbo between child and teenager, they are looking to assert their independence but still need support, direction and reassurance from their parents and the other adults in their lives. While they need to start learning to make decisions for themselves, they need guidance and assistance to learn how to make the right decisions that are healthy and appropriate. Setting appropriate boundaries and providing natural consequences for when those boundaries are pushed is also necessary.
Parents often struggle with communication when their tween seems to be trying on new and different personalities on for size on a daily basis. However, this is one time that remaining connected and maintaining communication channels is vitally important. Talk to your tween directly about the changes you are seeing and the behavior you are observing. Check in regularly to see what challenges they are facing, changes they are going through, or feelings that are experiencing. It is common for tweens to keep these issues to themselves which is why it is so important for parents to ask, discuss, and guide.
Do’s and Don’ts of Keeping a Close Relationship with Your Tween
- Do – Use an authoritative parenting style. This means that parents need to have realistic expectations for their tween and be responsive to their needs.
- Do – Model healthy emotional expression/emotional regulation skills and effective communication skills.
- Do – Support your tween by assisting with difficult decisions and providing support for their struggles
- Do – Spend quality time with your tween. Make it a point to tell them how much they are loved and valued for who they are (not what they do or their appearance) as often as you can.
- Don’t – Avoid setting appropriate boundaries and allowing for natural consequences.
- Don’t – Put unrealistic expectations and pressure on them.
- Don’t – Try to fix their problems. Instead, assist them in solving their own problems.
- Don’t – Hesitate to get support from a professional counselor if your tween is struggling to identify, express, or regulate their emotions.
Tags: Adolescence, Child, Family, Health, Home, Parent, Peer pressure, tween
Posted in Communication, Relationships | No Comments »
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2012
 Oat grains in their husks (Photo credit: Wikipedia) It feels like everywhere you look these days there is some new piece of nutritional news that has everyone eating this or not eating that. From carbohydrates to sugar to fat to gluten, it seems like you can find a restrictive diet for almost anything if you read enough magazines or type enough search terms into Google. As a society, Americans tend to jump on board with each new thing because they are looking for the one right answer or that one magic pill that will let them eat whatever they want without experiencing any health consequences. Unfortunately, there is no magic pill and there is only one right answer. To be healthy and maintain a healthy weight, you need to eat the right amount of the right food and stay active.
The newest trend is the gluten-free phenomenon, which has swept the nation to the tune of 178 new gluten-related titles on Amazon.com and the creation of gluten-free versions of almost everything by major food producers. Don’t misunderstand; the recent craze is great for people who are actually allergic to gluten and have been diagnosed with celiac disease. The fad-fueled mass appeal means gluten-free foods are more accessible and less expensive than ever.
However, for many people, going gluten-free is just the next way to cut carbs from their daily diets and get quick weight loss results that won’t last. Cutting gluten from one’s diet is seen by many as a healthier way to eat, but unless you have celiac disease, gluten is not hurting you and not eating it won’t make you healthier. However, you can actually hurt yourself by cutting it or other types of food entirely from your diet because it can cause nutritional deficiencies and GI distress. As with any dietary change, people should discuss going gluten-free with a medical professional before they make the change.
There is another side to these restrictive diet crazes and fads that can have very real consequences. People with eating disorders commonly use food allergies and restrictive diets to mask their disease, creating a legitimate reason for following a restrictive diet. Claiming to be gluten intolerant is very common amongst those with eating disorders as it coincides easily with eating disorders or disordered eating. The real problem with these types of nutritional crazes is that they can downgrade the severity of legitimate conditions like celiac disease while encouraging others to participate in eating behaviors that are not healthy and appropriate for their needs. The bottom line is that unless a person has a medical condition, diagnosed food allergy, or disease that requires a restricted diet, they should not be eating as if they do.
Tags: Coeliac disease, Diet (nutrition), Disease, Food, Gluten, Gluten-free diet, Google, Health
Posted in Eating Disorder | No Comments »
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